Theory #12: Micro-Choice Inertia

If you are following along with the home game version of the book of Mark, you’ll remember that, after 10 theories mostly dealing with self-actualization, we are now in the early stages of different theories about practical decision-making in a complex world.

Today’s installment may seem straightforward, but I think when applied properly it is probably one of the most useful in the package. Whereas the last theory dealt with “fork in the road” type decisions, this week I am concerned with more subtle decisions, the kind of decisions we keep subconsciously putting off to the point that we don’t even realize that we are neglecting to make them.

How many times have you heard someone look back over a period of time and express surprise and regret over how quickly time has passed, how quickly we age, how little has changed, and how little he/she has accomplished?

One of the key factors behind poor decision making is the fact that the details of life can sometimes distract us from the bigger picture. (I have already spoken at length about the details of life.) Many times we don’t even realize that we are not accomplishing what we want from life because we are not focusing our attention where it should be. I believe that the choices we make are often, when taken alone, small and insignificant. However, when taken together, a series of small and seemingly insignificant choices repeated over a period of time can total the sum of one very wrong decision. Because these are smaller decisions, we lose sight of the fact that we are slowly, almost undetectably, making an error in judgment.

I offer a simple four part test that you can apply to many different problems in your life. It is an exercise is demonstrating how easily it is for us to fall off track, and how simple it can be to get back on track just by keeping your focus on the bigger picture. I encourage you to try this exercise out with questions like:

Why is my career not going as well as I hoped?
Why do my relationships keep ending the same way?
Am I saving enough for retirement? For my child’s education?
Why am I still such a lousy golfer?
Why do I sometimes make bad moral choices?
Why do I drink or smoke too much?

One thing to note about this four part test – it isn’t mine. I stole it from a candidate I was interviewing. He didn’t mean it as a life theory and was applying it as a management style for specific situations, but I liked it so much I have adopted it. The candidate didn’t get the job and now he is getting plagiarized, and because I am not sure which candidate it was (two of them were very similar) I can’t even give credit. Nonetheless, I benefited from his wisdom and now so can you.

Besides, I have already been pretty clear about the fact that I am going to be borrowing from other great thinkers.

On with the test: Next time you find yourself struggling with a specific goal, or wondering why a certain part of your life might have gone off track, just take a moment to answer the following four questions:

Question #1: What is it that you want? (What are you trying to accomplish? What is the goal?)

Seems easy enough, but sometimes we are spinning wheels and not focusing on the prize. Let’s put it this way, if you don’t know the answer to this question, you have already discovered why you are struggling, and answering Question 1 is the only thing you need to be working on.

Question 2: What are you doing to accomplish your goal?

It is amazing to think of the cartwheels we will do just to prevent having to pass judgment on ourselves. Separating self-bias and judgment from the equation, and forcing us to objectively list what action we have taken, can be an eye-opening experience that makes it much easier to face the reality of question 3.

Question 3: Do you believe that what you are doing in Question 2 is enough to accomplish your goal?

Here is where the participant will often open his/her eyes and realize two very important things:

a) I am simply not doing enough to accomplish what I want to.
b) Nothing will change unless I change it myself.

Question 4: What more do you think you should be doing?

Alas, the answer to question 4 may not be as simple as we all hope. It may involve making life changes, re-evaluating priorities, and even seeking help from others. Nonetheless, if you emerge from the first three questions with an honest assessment of things, the answer to question 4 can ultimately be the ticket to reaching your goal.

Clearly, this is a very straightforward exercise to undergo. Most people, as I explain it to them, look at me cock-eyed when I first go through it (bear in mind this conversation usually takes place at a bar), but I think that most of us are guilty of falling victim to bad habits. It is very difficult to change habits unless you are looking from a broader perspective.

The answer often falls in the little decisions we make day in and day out, not in big landmark decisions that bring sudden lasting change. We often need to change our daily routine and realize that it will take a series of small steps, rather than one big one, that will get us where we need to go. Putting aside $100 this month may only make $100 of difference. Making that decision again and again over 15 years can make a world of difference. It is the same with turning down that one cigarette when you try to quit. One cigarette doesn’t hurt you, but repeating that decision does.

Therein lies Theory 12 in the Book of Mark: Seemingly small choices involving the details of life can distract us from the big picture. Sometimes we need to step aside and honestly evaluate our activity to help us get back on track. The “micro-choices” in life, when added together, can be just as important as life’s big decisions.