Theory 16: The Hidden Value of the Needy Gene. Part A: How the Universe Actually Works.
Do you ever wish you could go back in time and give yourself advice?
If I could go back in time and counsel younger Mark using whatever wisdom I have picked up at the bar over my 34 years, I would probably have two important things to say:
First – I would tell myself not to worry about how I dress because one day in the future people will actually pay EXTRA money for hole-riddled jeans that are made to look more worn out than they really are. I was ahead of my time.
Second – I would tell myself about the theory that I give you today, because knowing then what I know now would have made life a lot easier.
I spoke a lot about “self actualization” in my earlier theories. There was lots of discussion about dropping the masks that we project, eliminating distractions and just focusing solely on your own self improvement.
Assuming you buy into my babbling, you have to wonder at some point what the larger sociological implications are if we all live in a society where masks, distractions and “the small picture” are so prevalent.
Our society is the inevitable result of one simple fact: Humans are weak, needy, and above all else, seek the approval of other humans. People need people, we all know that. I’ll go one step further – the fact that people need people is the driving force behind a very large proportion of every decision we will ever make. It is the most prominent explanation for everything that will ever happen.
As you would expect, it starts with sex.
We all know that every animal in the kingdom is hard-wired to propagate the species. However, other animals, even though we pretty much kick all of their asses on the food chain, are a lot more emotionally efficient when it comes to propagating. As far as I understand, they pretty much end up with kids every time they get horny.
Humans, on the other hand, probably “practice” sexual reproduction somewhere in the nature of 500 times for every time they produce an offspring. (Numbers may vary due to self confidence, virility, and/or ugliness). What’s worse, a whole bunch of us humans like to discuss our feelings after almost every practice session. Our sexual habits are a big part of who we are, and they pretty much scream “needy” and “approval seeking” no matter how you slice it.
This nicely segues us to the relationships behind the sex. I could probably make a whole post about this alone. Let me just sum it up by saying that we all know the world is full of people who judge a big chunk of their happiness and self-worth based on whether they have found their soul mate. There is no other possible explanation for the stunning success of the television show Ally McBeal back in the 90s.
Sex and relationships are the tip of the iceberg. Almost every single decision we make can be tied to seeking the approval of other humans: We dress, we buy crystal wine glasses and set them aside for guests, we save up for a nice car, we argue to assert our point, we make jokes, we monitor the Jones’ that we are trying to keep up with, we pass judgment on others to make us feel better about ourselves, we entertain, we compete with each other in a million different ways, we wear heels, we write self-promotional blogs to try and make ourselves look clever, we fight feelings of inadequacy, we keep secrets, we go on diets, we look up to people, we look down on people, we follow customs, we whiten teeth, we read about celebrities’ personal lives, we brush hair. I could go on all day. (I often do.) My point is that our need for other people drives us through every single day of our lives.
Our entire political system is based on politicians monitoring approval ratings. Our economic system is base entirely on human exchange.
Let’s face it: Even if there are people who don’t need people, those people’s genes are out of the gene pool within one generation. The rest of us that need people and need relationships will keep on passing on our neediness, and the self-contained humans who are off being hermits in the forest will die out quietly without any of us noticing. Natural selection favours the needy.
The important thing is that knowing is half the battle.
You may wonder why I would choose this theory as the one to pass on to younger Mark when I travel back in time. The truth is, younger Mark may not have been completely ready to appreciate theories about self actualization. On the other hand, he could have used more sex, and he also could have stood to have a bit more confidence about his place in the universe. This theory has a practical and immediate value for everyone.
In Part B, I will tell you how to take this information and use it to improve your life, vanquish your foes and just generally feel better about yourself through the magic of thinking less of everyone else.
If I could go back in time and counsel younger Mark using whatever wisdom I have picked up at the bar over my 34 years, I would probably have two important things to say:
First – I would tell myself not to worry about how I dress because one day in the future people will actually pay EXTRA money for hole-riddled jeans that are made to look more worn out than they really are. I was ahead of my time.
Second – I would tell myself about the theory that I give you today, because knowing then what I know now would have made life a lot easier.
I spoke a lot about “self actualization” in my earlier theories. There was lots of discussion about dropping the masks that we project, eliminating distractions and just focusing solely on your own self improvement.
Assuming you buy into my babbling, you have to wonder at some point what the larger sociological implications are if we all live in a society where masks, distractions and “the small picture” are so prevalent.
Our society is the inevitable result of one simple fact: Humans are weak, needy, and above all else, seek the approval of other humans. People need people, we all know that. I’ll go one step further – the fact that people need people is the driving force behind a very large proportion of every decision we will ever make. It is the most prominent explanation for everything that will ever happen.
As you would expect, it starts with sex.
We all know that every animal in the kingdom is hard-wired to propagate the species. However, other animals, even though we pretty much kick all of their asses on the food chain, are a lot more emotionally efficient when it comes to propagating. As far as I understand, they pretty much end up with kids every time they get horny.
Humans, on the other hand, probably “practice” sexual reproduction somewhere in the nature of 500 times for every time they produce an offspring. (Numbers may vary due to self confidence, virility, and/or ugliness). What’s worse, a whole bunch of us humans like to discuss our feelings after almost every practice session. Our sexual habits are a big part of who we are, and they pretty much scream “needy” and “approval seeking” no matter how you slice it.
This nicely segues us to the relationships behind the sex. I could probably make a whole post about this alone. Let me just sum it up by saying that we all know the world is full of people who judge a big chunk of their happiness and self-worth based on whether they have found their soul mate. There is no other possible explanation for the stunning success of the television show Ally McBeal back in the 90s.
Sex and relationships are the tip of the iceberg. Almost every single decision we make can be tied to seeking the approval of other humans: We dress, we buy crystal wine glasses and set them aside for guests, we save up for a nice car, we argue to assert our point, we make jokes, we monitor the Jones’ that we are trying to keep up with, we pass judgment on others to make us feel better about ourselves, we entertain, we compete with each other in a million different ways, we wear heels, we write self-promotional blogs to try and make ourselves look clever, we fight feelings of inadequacy, we keep secrets, we go on diets, we look up to people, we look down on people, we follow customs, we whiten teeth, we read about celebrities’ personal lives, we brush hair. I could go on all day. (I often do.) My point is that our need for other people drives us through every single day of our lives.
Our entire political system is based on politicians monitoring approval ratings. Our economic system is base entirely on human exchange.
Let’s face it: Even if there are people who don’t need people, those people’s genes are out of the gene pool within one generation. The rest of us that need people and need relationships will keep on passing on our neediness, and the self-contained humans who are off being hermits in the forest will die out quietly without any of us noticing. Natural selection favours the needy.
The important thing is that knowing is half the battle.
You may wonder why I would choose this theory as the one to pass on to younger Mark when I travel back in time. The truth is, younger Mark may not have been completely ready to appreciate theories about self actualization. On the other hand, he could have used more sex, and he also could have stood to have a bit more confidence about his place in the universe. This theory has a practical and immediate value for everyone.
In Part B, I will tell you how to take this information and use it to improve your life, vanquish your foes and just generally feel better about yourself through the magic of thinking less of everyone else.
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2 Comments:
So are you lonely or horny?
Its a bit more complicated than that. You are referring to behaviour that is prevalent in what we refer to as individuals who are "neurotypical" http://isnt.autistics.org/. Unfortunately approximately 95% of the population suffers from this disorder.
The rest of us remain free from the constraints of societal pressures. We don;t have a strong desire to be accepted. This often leads to extended periods of social exlusion. However, sometimes it results in becoming the richest person on the planet (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7899821/) or discovering the theory of relativity.
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