Theory 18: The Half-Finished Ballad of the Dreamer/Quitter

I had promised a theory on the laws of attraction but that one has now been moved to Theory 21. I think that I’d like to take a moment and look back at some ideas that inspired me when I was younger:

“Work hard.”
“Never give up.”
“Hang on to your dreams. Never let them go.”

All of us old people miss being young and idealistic. We loved that intoxicating delusional invincibility. Nonetheless, let’s be clear about a few things that us wise folk don’t bother mentioning aloud, but all quietly agree upon:

“In many cases working hard is vastly overrated.”
“Giving up can be a good idea when it turns out your goal was stupid in the first place.”
“Most importantly, when appropriate, have the courage and foresight to let go of your dreams. Cast them aside like a band-aid that’s starting to fall off by itself.”

I have read that one of the most common characteristics of tremendously successful business people is a singular obsession towards one topic. Good for them. I used to think that I fit this ‘mould’. I used to be singularly obsessed with being a rock star; Then I wanted to be a lawyer; Then a poker player; Then a good husband; Then a writer who updates his blog more than once every month. Instead, I became all of those things and less. I became a Dreamer/Quitter. To horribly misappropriate from a poet who found a fork in the road, I truly believe that that has made all of the difference.

Put another way: Your priorities are the most important decisions you have to make. I have found that as I get older, I get better at prioritizing. It would be silly for me to stick inflexibly to my old priorities. Futherless, often my priorities change due to unforeseen circumstances. Sticking with one idea of what my life should be would have closed me off from all kinds of wonderful (and wonderfully horrible) experiences. This is why I am glad to have had the courage to be the quitter that I never had the foresight to dream that I would be.

However, before I shout “Three cheers for quitters” from the rooftops (though in reality I usually lose interest by the second cheer), I want to take a moment to point out why a Dreamer/Quitter is vastly different from your average run of the mill quitter. Most people quit because they are scared, or they are lazy, or they lack the strength and determination to overcome barriers. These are not the quitters I am toasting today. A Dreamer/Quitter only gives up on his dreams for one very important reason:

The Dreamer/Quitter often quits on one dream because they find a new dream that they like better.

Therein lies Theory 18:

Dreams are like ‘rum and cokes’. We should cherish each one when it is with us, but we must not be afraid to accept when they are finished. We should just be smart enough to make sure that another one is on the way.

I have always been, and will always be a dreamer. The best dreamers have always been quitters. We get the most practice.